LITMUS TEST

Lovely bike ride across Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco, what have you done to me? I can't even begin to explain how high on life I've been in the past week. It was so pleasant to be surrounded by people whom all genuinely love their jobs, their lives, and their city. No complaining, no comparing, and no negativity - I couldn't possibly imagine what that's like. Living in the East Coast for awhile now, I wasn't sure that this type of life or feeling even existed. For my friends who are struggling with days of complaints, petty competitions, or negativity, I encourage you to DO SOMETHING about it and don't allow yourself to be stuck in any way. Life is too short to not take chances and life is too long to be constantly unhappy. Visiting SF for just a mere week was an absolute breath of fresh air. For this and many, many other extraordinary reasons - San Francisco, you have stolen my heart and left a huge impression on me... so much so that when I landed back in NYC, my heart no longer fluttered for the Manhattan skyline (the true litmus test).

I can't wait to come back...

LUCID

Pac Heights, San Francisco

Growing up in New York, I always had this childhood dream of one day living in the hustle and bustle of NYC, where the cars are loud and people are even louder. With my recent move from Boston to NYC, I felt an alarming sense of satisfaction that finally this childhood dream would come true - I get to scratch this lingering itch of being a NYC girl that I've always vowed to be at heart. Yet visiting friends in SF for just a short couple of days has transformed me to rethink that dream which now seems so vapid.

I had the most amazing brunch with a lovely woman named Tria today, someone who successfully built from scratch a wedding planning & design business in the Bay Area [ honey & twine ]. It's funny to imagine that we both went to CMU, sort of recognized one another, but missed out on the opportunity to become friends at the time. It might've been a good thing we didn't meet then - I grossly lacked self awareness or confidence. Listening to Tria talk about her incredible stories of love, of healing, and of humble ambition truly touched my heart. It's rare to meet authentic female role models who empower you to live beyond the confines of your childhood dreams. I'm not exactly sure what Tria said to trigger me, but I am thinking much clearer than I could yesterday and the days before. I can actively evaluate what's important in my life (both professionally and personally), not just for the short-term... but for the long-haul (one where Mike's dreams are just as evident as my own). It'll be quite exciting to see where our dreams will take us next - we've got lots of different ideas. :)

Every day is surprising me. The world is a wonderful, wonderful place if you open your mind and heart to all the stimulus and positive influences around you. But to do so, you have to unapologetically let go of the negative barriers weighing you down. As excited as Mike and I both are to not be in a long distance relationship anymore, we're learning that as we eagerly spend more time together to also spend separate time with friends and family - the very people encouraging us to continue finding ourselves individually as we find success as one.

IF I WAS A RICH GIRL

Everyday essentials

My friend Maria and I had an amazing chat on the phone today as we bonded over girl power and our interpretation of living a 'rich and fulfilling life'. We cringed talking about previous jobs where we didn't feel valued, we worked our butts off anyways, and we felt constant pressure to assimilate in order to achieve success defined by the ideals of upper management and a 'man's world'. As a result, we spent all of our free time relaxing to trashy TV, thinking about our next vacation, and getting sucked hardcore into consumerism (spending like no other to feel good about ourselves, knowing that our next paycheck was just around the corner). And nevermind catching up with friends, we were always exhausted. It was a stagnant merry-go-around and the predictability of it all made it too comfortable to leave even though we were unhappy. Somehow, we both managed to hop off the ride, branching into the unknown in the hope of finding our versions of happiness. And while we're not yet getting paid for pursuing what we love and have time devoted to challenging ourselves in any way we choose, we also understand that freedom comes with a steep price tag (no continuous income, no amazing benefits, and no wild spending). That being said, it feels so liberating to know that where you go is strongly dependent on your passion, your competence, and your drive to push forward, many times outside of your comfort zone. For the first time, the line between living and working is blurred (work life balance at its finest). As scary as it is, I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything else, not even for 5 new pairs of shoes (that's right ladies, I mean it). Whether this self-sustained lifestyle pays out is something we'll realize in due time. We both know there will be tears, the good and the bad kind, and that is perfectly okay. Regardless, it'll be one heck of an experience to look back on. Worse case scenario we'll both have to get another job but this time with better stories to tell and a sigh of relief that we've at least tried.

For now it'll just be my laptop, my little black book, a coffee every now and then, and of course, the outcry of support from my friends and family. Thank you for encouraging me to bet on myself. I am by no means an inspiration (I haven't done anything yet), just a girl who probably lost a little bit of her mind. But man, it feels so good to finally LIVE A RICH LIFE.

PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT!

ASA Booth, 2007 CMU Carnival

I haven't been this pleasantly distracted in a long time. I've been thinking about this whole starting-my-own-business venture as a big school project (ASA Booth, anyone?). Mike and I had a throwback moment where we reminisced about CMU's annual Booth competition and how it still holds a special place in both of our hearts (for reasons beyond that's how we met). When we worked on ASA Booth, we could be creative and inventive while learning how to manage an end-to-end process. What made Booth extra exciting was the uncertainty of it all... what's our theme? how do we paint the panels? how do we construct a life-size structure from scratch? are we going to place first this year? The sky was the limit and it was up to us to figure out how to make our booth come to life. I didn't realize how much I had truly taken away from college, especially outside of those classroom hallways, until this past week.

To top it off, working at P&G has blessed me with some skills I didn't quite know if I'd ever use again - well, turns out I am using them sooner than expected. In an effort to define my "special sauce" in the Wedding Planning industry, I have created a short survey for my dear friends with the hope of generating helpful insights. Married, engaged, in a relationship or single... please click on link in red below and help a girl out!

CLICK HERE TO COMPLETE SURVEY

THE LONGEST TO-DO LIST OF MY LIFE

Morning coffee fix at Kava

I guess you could say that today is my first official day of self-employment. I woke up with my usual morning routine except now I could hear sirens, cars honking, and people shouting outside (hello to you too Midtown Manhattan). I was glad that I didn't wake up feeling regretful (about quitting my job), which was mentally and emotionally encouraging. I ate some french toast and gulped down a large cup of black coffee before heading out to the Ace Hotel lobby to get the day going. I had read somewhere online that it was a good place to work and write.

My goal today was to hone in all the scattered thoughts in my mind and redefine them in a digestible way (meaning... prioritize these thoughts on a colorful spreadsheet with timing implications). When I finally sat down and opened my computer, I didn't know where to begin. My thoughts had escaped me and I felt a sense of panic. How am I going to create a Wedding Planning business from scratch? What do I even know about weddings outside of attending a few of them? And how do I feel about not getting paid 'to work' today? Your mind does weird things to you. Just when you've built up all this courage and convincing that you have the passion and the competence, something inside tells you no... you can't do it. It took a few minutes, but I opened up a blank Google spreadsheet and started to mind dump. Hours later, I found myself staring at the longest to-do list of my life. Now, I'm energized.

NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES

NYC skyline taken on one of countless Amtrak trips to Boston

If I asked my 21-year old self on November 7, 2009 where I will be in 5 years exactly, never would I ever imagine that I'd be quitting my Corporate job today to pursue an idea of establishing my own Wedding Planning business. But isn't that what makes life so ridiculously interesting? In pursuit of happiness, I asked myself some hard questions:

1. What's MOST important to me right now?
Mike and I being together... I mean physically, same place at the same time. After practically 7 years of long distance, our friends know that we've had our fair shares of ups and downs - mainly driven by the fact that we are SO different from each other. With time, we have worked on both ourselves and our relationship like no other. The distance was truly a blessing in disguise - let's just say the words 'Trust', 'Patience', and 'Respect' hold immense weight. And the best part of being with Mike is that he's opened my eyes to all the relationships around me, including the one I have with myself.

2. What am I inspired by?
Art. Dance. Raunchy jokes and spotting innuendo. Photographers. Amazing friends that are there for you when the rain starts to pour. White Space. Beautiful yet unexpected decor. Celebrations. Positive Energy. People and the decisions they make. Accents (although I am horrible at impersonating them). Fashion, clothes, make-up and how they make you feel. Food. The world and the universe. Love, true love. And of course, Beyonce.

3. What am I good at?
My friends might agree when I say that I am the most alive when doing one or all of these things: checklists, planning, spreadsheets, color-coding everything, acts of service, and lending an ear when people are struggling with relationship problems.

4. How do I better myself?
As simple as I want to help people and learn HOW to do it in the best way that I can offer.

And eventually...

5. Am I ready to leave behind a job without an exact recipe of 'what's next'?
I've thought about this one a lot. There are so many things about P&G that I appreciate, but there just wasn't enough to make keep me hungry in this moment. Like so many of my friends, a feeling of deflation and complacency caught up to me. Despite it, I've learned so much about what I am capable of, how I define success, and what type of person and leader I wish to become. I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't experiment with this single life I have to live. I also searched for other jobs in NYC, but not much resonated with me at the level of passion I have for event planning. There is so much fear in quitting without another job lined up perfectly - and so many people will have opinions about it. But you know what? I'm okay with that. To change my career and start something like this, I need to jump into the deep end and not just dip my toes wet. I am beyond scared and liberated to see what else life has in store for me and what more I can give back to this beautiful world. So when the time came, I sold my furniture on Craigslist, informed my manager and colleagues that I've made what seems like a ridiculous decision, and tomorrow I will be moving from Boston to New York with a sparkle in my eye and anticipation of hard work like I've never seen it before.